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These People Are Determined to Get Half An Onion More Followers on Twitter Than The Real Donald Trump

Leave it to 2017 to take it a step further from the days of 2016 when flocks of folks turned up at voting stalls to send their nominations in for Harambe. Yes, that happened, but apparently that wasn't enough. We need to dive deeper down the shit-coated rabbit's hole, and find a way make sure we give an onion the proper podium to express its multi-layered beliefs from. The kind of mass media movement that can bring hot tears to your eyes, huh?

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Inauguration Day Effortlessly Eclipsed By the Sheer Brilliance of George W. Bush Battling a Poncho

Truly the significance of this spontaneous moment is given away in the headline. In such dark and troubling (at least for some folks) times, it lightens the heart to be able to fall back upon the comedic relief of an ex-prez waging war on a seemingly possessed poncho. Thankful for this.

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The FLOTUS Transition Was a Cringe-Coated Show of Awkwardness Thanks to a Strange Gift Exchange

What a day we have unfolding before us, and why not focus on what really matters right now. What is in the damn box?! For real. Minds near and far, 'mountain to mountain' are already running wild with creative inspiration on what could possible have been in there. Outside the mystery gift, we're also enjoying the supremely cringeworthy performance that was the gift exchange. The grimace from Michelle Obama...very real.

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People Inspired and Devastated Alike, Hatch Up Donald Trump-Inspired Inauguration Day Drinking Games

Read the label closely on this bottled up thread of booze-minded, politically-fueled goodness: many of these games are guaranteed to give your tolerance for the alcohol a solid run, all the while pulverizing your liver. And hey, maybe that's exactly what some of us find ourselves hopelessly looking for as we stare out at the abyss of what some might call the 'death of the American Dream', while others see hope and promise. I don't know. Let's hoist a glass either way and enjoy the circus.

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Site Specifically Tailored for Single Trump Supporters Wants to Make Dating Great Again

Just when I thought I'd seen it all with dating apps, this shit comes to fruition: a dating service intended for likeminded, single Trump supporters ready to swipe right on making dating great again. At least we've a venue that can act as a beacon for the lost, single souls out there bonded through their shared respect, potential adoration for the tangerine-skinned, golden-haired Prez Elect---DJ Trump. "What are your thoughts on the Wall?" Solid conversation starter material right there.

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Via: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
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Specifically, Colbert dives in on a little rant about how he thinks that Trump thinks Presidents get the weekends off--or least that big celebration that'll follow Inauguration Day on Friday.